Chapter 4 & 5: Master Tong Flatters with a Cunning Smile; Concubine Zhen Miscarried

The Opening Verses

Not a single word of learning, yet he wears a scholar’s cap,

Swaggering through the markets as a “Man of the Mountain.”

A tongue for gossip like a matchmaker’s mouth,

A body that bows and scrapes like a concubine’s frame.

Falsely claiming the famous as his acquaintances,

Recklessly boasting that noble lords are his kin.

With a few medicinal threads presented as a gift,

He lightly swindles away a mountain of silver.

And another:

The arts of the bedchamber should never be heard,

Do not gamble your life for a red-skirted girl.

Zhen-ge egged him on to buy with his gold,

A miscarriage nearly snapped her very tendons!

Because of the recurring nightmares and his two recent bouts of illness, Chao Yuan was “soul-less and witless.” While Lady Ji had been overbearing and bullying in the past, she harbored no true evil. Chao Yuan’s current cruelty was purely the result of his sudden wealth and his obsession with Zhen-ge, which had led him to treat his wife like filth. Hearing his grandfather’s rebukes in his dreams had awakened a small flicker of conscience, leaving him subdued and “droopy-headed.”

On the 17th day, he slept until noon. He performed a ritual to burn prayers and send off the deities of the New Year. To pass the time, he played card games with Zhen-ge, while the servants acted as her “military advisors.”

Just after lunch, the young servant Xiao Dianshu entered: “Master Yu from across the street has come to visit, accompanied by a man in a scholar’s square cap whom I don’t recognize.”

“Where does he sound like he’s from?” Chao Yuan asked.

“He has a thick, boisterous accent, likely from the northern seven counties,” the servant replied.

Zhen-ge chimed in: “That must be the fortune-teller you tried to send the snack box to yesterday! He’s come to thank you.”

Chao Yuan smiled and called for a maid to bring his Taoist robe. Zhen-ge suggested, “You should leave off your hairnet and just put on a ‘Haoran’ cap. Pretend you aren’t feeling well yet and haven’t been able to leave the house. Otherwise, if people see you’ve groomed yourself so neatly but haven’t gone out to return their visits, won’t they take offense?”

“You have a point,” Chao Yuan agreed. He took off his hairnet, donned the Haoran cap, put on a white fox-fur coat, and went out to receive them. At the middle gate, he stopped and said to a maid, “Tell the women to prepare a box of fruit and snacks. If I have to ask them to stay, I’ll want it brought out immediately.” After giving his orders, he stepped into the hall and saw a man wearing a scholar’s cap:

With a face as dark as Zhang Fei’s and a head as crimson as Jiao Zan’s, His Taoist robe was made of greasy, powdered satin, His square-toed shoes were of ragged red silk. A vulgar air wafted from him as he approached, Rustic speech flowed like water from his mouth. As the west wind blows and the Wu-tong leaves fall, A scoundrel finds his best luck in the autumn.

Yu Mingwu said, “During such a grand festival, you haven’t stepped foot out of your door. Are you staying home to guard your ‘flower’?”

Chao Yuan replied, “Guard the flower, indeed! I took a fall before dawn on New Year’s Day and have been as sick as a thief ever since!” He invited them into the hall.

The man in the scholar’s cap said, “On this new festival, please allow this junior to pay his respects. Sir, please turn so I may bow.”

Yu Mingwu interjected, “This is Brother Tong from Qingzhou, styled Dingyu. He is skilled in painting. Having heard of your great reputation, he has come specifically to pay his respects.”

Chao Yuan said, “So you are a guest from a distant prefecture. Because of my recent ailment, I haven’t groomed myself properly and dare not accept a formal bow.”

Tong Dingyu replied, “What does that matter? Allow me to bow to show the sincerity of my visit.” Chao Yuan refused, so they simply clasped their hands in greeting. Beside them, a young servant from Yu Mingwu’s house named Xiao Eryue came forward carrying a gift box. Tong Dingyu opened the box and first took out a four-fold gift card, which read:

“I respectfully present a package of white pills, two of my humble paintings, two silk sashes, and four lengths of spring thread as a token of my respect. Your humble junior from Qingzhou, Tong Erchen, bows his head.”

He flicked the card open and handed it to Chao Yuan. Chao Yuan glanced over it, and a servant took it from him. Chao Yuan clasped his hands to thank Tong Dingyu and ordered the gifts to be put away. They sat on opposite sides and exchanged pleasantries.

Tong Dingyu began, “I come from a humble background and have learned a few small tricks of painting, and I also know a few secret ‘immortal prescriptions’ from across the sea. Because of this, the elders and young scholars of my prefecture have shown me undue affection. Even Minister Qian, Censor-General Sun, Vice-Minister Li, as well as Zhang Niandong of the Censorate and Qi Dafu of the Hanlin Academy, all treat me like a member of their own family. But because my acquaintances are so numerous, I cannot keep up with them all. Often, when I visit one house, they keep me there for several days and won’t let me leave, so I inevitably fail to be attentive to everyone.”

“Whenever they see me, they scold and curse me, saying how cold and indifferent I’ve become, how snobbish—like a pigeon only flying toward the prosperous! They mock me endlessly. Because of this, I haven’t even been able to step foot out of the Qingzhou city gates. I’ve been like a frog at the bottom of a well, seeing nothing of the world. Yet, I tell everyone I meet: ‘In Wucheng County, there is the son of Old Master Chao, young Master Chao—he is a man who loves guests and respects talent; he views wealth lightly and values righteousness. Those who seek him out receive fine clothes; those who associate with him share in his riches. He is truly elegant and refined.’

“In truth, I have longed for you as a child longs for its parents; I wished I could be at your side in an instant. It was only because I was so busily occupied—those high officials simply would not let me go—that I couldn’t break away. When the Honorable Vice-Minister Qian was newly appointed to the Ministry of War, he desperately begged me to accompany him to the capital. When the other gentlemen heard of this, who among them would let me go? They all said, ‘If you leave with Master Qian, we won’t even be able to swallow our food. How could you be so heartless?’

“When Master Qian heard how the local gentry were pleading to keep me, he said: ‘They may love Tong Dingyu, but they only bother him to keep them company for amusement. I, however, am thinking of Tong Dingyu’s future. Look at a man of his stature—so imposing, so magnificent, and with such great talent—should such a man remain a mere old mountain-dweller? He ought to be given a chance to transform. Since I am moving to the Ministry of War, he should come with me, and I will support him until he becomes a regional commander or a vice-general. Even becoming a General with an official seal would not be difficult!'” Then, Tong Dingyu added softly, “And that wasn’t his only reason; he also wanted me to act as a go-between and pull a few strings for him. That is why they finally allowed me to come.”

Chao Yuan observed that the man would not speak without calling him “Great Master” and would not open his mouth without referring to himself as “Your Junior.” Seeing that Tong was on intimate terms with so many high-ranking officials and was now directing a good deal of flattery his way, Chao Yuan ordered his servants, “Prepare wine in the back.” The servants took the order and left.

Chao Yuan then asked, “Has the Honorable Master Qian reached his post yet?”

Tong Dingyu replied, “He left for the capital last December. If I hadn’t come specifically to pay my respects to you, Master, I would have traveled with him. Today is truly a fortunate day; meeting you is like finally seeing the sun.” This flattery made Chao Yuan’s heart itch with delight. The wine was brought out, and they drank until after the first drum of the night before Tong rose to leave. Chao Yuan escorted him as far as the middle gate and stopped there, saying, “Because of my lingering illness, I dare not venture outside. I take my leave of you here.” Tong Dingyu said his goodbyes and left, followed by the servant from the Yu house, returning across the street.

Chao Yuan kept Yu Mingwu back, saying, “We haven’t chatted in a long while, and it’s still early. Have three more cups.”

Yu Mingwu replied, “Your illness isn’t fully cured yet. I’ll trouble you for a drink another day.” Standing at the middle gate, Chao Yuan asked Yu Mingwu about Tong Dingyu’s background.

Yu Mingwu said, “I haven’t known him long either. It was because the singer Zhao Qiyuan mentioned that he had excellent medicinal incense and was rushing to the provincial capital for the examinations that I began associating with him just a few days ago. He had nowhere to stay, so late yesterday I let him move into the pavilion in my back garden.”

Chao Yuan remarked, “The man seems like a friendly fellow who gets along with everyone; he certainly plays the part of a ‘mountain man’ and refined guest well enough. I haven’t yet seen what his paintings are like, though.”

Yu Mingwu said, “He isn’t much of a painter; he just dabs a few strokes of willow trees and apricot blossoms, and they aren’t very good at that. It seems his real business is just selling aphrodisiacs.”

Chao Yuan then asked, “What was his intention in paying me a visit?”

Yu Mingwu replied, “That’s easy enough to understand. When a man like that arrives in a new place, he first asks who the local gentry and wealthy families are—which young master is hospitable and which is stingy. He picks a grand household, sends in a visiting card, and offers a few small gifts. How could he possibly lose on that investment?”

Chao Yuan said, “He just gave me those four kinds of gifts. In your estimation, what sort of return gift should I give him?”

Yu Mingwu asked, “How many sticks of medicinal incense did he give you just now?”

Chao Yuan said, “I didn’t look closely. I’m not sure if it was four or six.”

Yu Mingwu said, “He sells those lines for five cents apiece. A pound of those white pills is worth a dime at most. Those two sashes are worth twelve cents, and the two paintings, if you’re being generous, are worth thirty cents. All in all, it’s about sixty cents’ worth of goods. Since you’ve already entertained him with a feast, giving him one tael of silver in return should be plenty.”

Chao Yuan replied, “The man looks like a big spender; I feel like one tael would be too embarrassing to offer.”

“Suit yourself,” Yu Mingwu said. “Give him more if you like; after all, it’s your own reputation at stake.” With that, the two said their goodbyes and parted.

Chao Yuan went back inside, where Zhen-ge met him and sat down. “Well?” she asked. “Did the astrologer give you an accurate fortune?”

Chao Yuan laughed. “He didn’t calculate mine, but he did one for you! He said you’re going to suffer a massive defeat in just over an hour!” He then looked through the gifts again, held up the packet of aphrodisiac lines, and said to Zhen-ge, “Isn’t this your destiny for the four seasons? One for each quarter of the year.”

Zhen-ge snatched at them, wanting to see. Chao Yuan said, “It’s a cheap thing, what is there for you to look at!” He tucked them into his sleeve and called out, “Bring some tea so we can drink and get to bed. Let’s not ‘waste time like a rat marrying off its daughter’!” After drinking his tea, he stepped into a private room at the end of the house and applied the lines according to the “mountain man’s” instructions. He came back and sat for a while before they settled in for the night. The scenes at the bedside need not be described in detail.

The next morning, around eight o’clock, the two of them rose with beaming faces. Chao Yuan ordered the kitchen to prepare wine and food, intending to invite Yu Mingwu and Master Tong to drink at the Yinghui Pavilion at noon. He sent a servant with a formal visiting card to the Yu house across the street to invite them for lunch.

Yu Mingwu looked at Master Tong and said, “Old Tong, it seems your ‘method’ worked like a charm!”

Master Tong replied, “My methods never fail. My only fear is if a man shuts his door and refuses to let me in—then I am helpless.” Amidst their laughter, the two walked over to the Chao estate’s main hall. They entered from the west into a garden. At the north end of the garden, facing south, stood a building called the Yinghui Pavilion. The garden also featured various straw huts and pavilions, making it a quite spacious place. However, it was arranged with the poor taste of a vulgar man, looking more like a chaotic roadside antique shop.

When the three met, Chao Yuan was far more hospitable than the day before. Zhen-ge personally supervised the kitchen, making the feast even more lavish than the previous day, and Master Tong was even more flattering than before. All three men understood the situation in their hearts, though nothing was said openly. While the first meeting was between strangers, the second made them old acquaintances. Chao Yuan no longer put on official airs, and Master Tong was not quite as sycophantic. They drank together in a much more relaxed and intimate atmosphere. It wasn’t until the second drum of the night that Chao Yuan escorted them to the middle gate to say goodbye.

Yu Mingwu doubled back and whispered in Chao Yuan’s ear, “Well? How was it?”

Chao Yuan replied, “The rumors are true! I want to ask him for more.”

Yu Mingwu said, “I’ll talk to him. He’s planning to leave soon to celebrate Eunuch Tian’s birthday on the second day of the second month.”

“Tell him,” Chao Yuan said, “no matter how many he has, give them all to me. I will compensate him accordingly.” They clasped hands and went their separate ways.

Another day passed, and Master Tong sent over a formal farewell card. Along with it was a packet of aphrodisiac lines labeled “One Hundred Strips Total,” with a note inside: “These items do not keep for long; they should be used as they are prepared.”

Chao Yuan accepted them and sent back word: “I shall host a farewell dinner tomorrow noon. The twenty-second is an auspicious day for travel; it will be a perfect time to set out.” He immediately dispatched invitations and asked Yu Mingwu to accompany them again. When the time came, they enjoyed the banquet and then went their separate ways.

On the morning of the twenty-second, Chao Yuan intended to prepare five taels of silver for the medicine and three taels as a parting gift for Master Tong.

Zhen-ge spoke up: “You don’t count the cost when it comes to big things, yet you calculate every penny for the small ones. He is a ‘mountain man’ who travels between the gates of a hundred families and the estates of many officials; you should give him a bit more so he can spread your good name. Those five taels are just to repay him for the medicine—they don’t really count. As for the three taels of silver, how could you even show your face offering that?”

Chao Yuan replied, “Yu Mingwu only told me to give him one tael, and now I’ve tripled it.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Zhen-ge insisted. “A man makes his own reputation; even ten times that amount wouldn’t be too much. Besides, giving just silver is awkward, as if you’re just tipping a servant. If you listen to me, wrap up six taels as a travel allowance, find a bolt of fine machine-woven gauze for a suit, a pair of shoes, a pair of silk socks, and ten gold-leaf fans. That would actually mean something.”

Chao Yuan laughed, “I shall do exactly as my ‘minister’ proposes! This is truly treating him like a man of destiny!”

He wrote out the gift card and sent a servant over with the items. Master Tong was endlessly grateful, and Yu Mingwu felt quite proud as well. Yu came over himself to offer a thousand thanks before taking his leave, promising, “When the opportunity arises in the future, I shall come to visit again.” Lingering behind, Yu Mingwu pointed at Chao Yuan and laughed, “This must surely be Little Zhen’s doing. Although you are usually a big spender, even you wouldn’t typically be this lavish.”

Chao Yuan said, “A man like him is just like a matchmaker; if we don’t send him off happy, won’t he go around everywhere ruining my reputation?”

Yu Mingwu replied, “He was hoping for maybe two taels to satisfy his wishes; he truly didn’t dare expect you to give him all this.” Chao Yuan invited Yu Mingwu to sit in the hall, but Yu said, “I must go home to eat with him and see him off on his journey.” He clasped his hands and departed.

From then on, Chao Yuan began packing his luggage, oiling the sedan chair curtains, making crates, and buying pack-sedans for the maids and nurses. He planned to take the second-rank official sedan chair he had bought in the capital for Lady Ji, fit it with new oiled-silk curtains for Zhen-ge to use, and had craftsmen refurbish it. He set the departure date for the tenth day of the second month. He also contracted twenty-four long-haul mules for the journey from Wucheng to Huating at two taels and five mace per head, signed a contract, and paid three taels as a deposit. Every day, he handed over the affairs of his various estates to the caretakers. As for the clothes for the servants, nurses, and maids, they already had what was made for the hunting trip, so no further preparations were needed. By then, the end of the first month was approaching. He chose the second day of the second month as an auspicious time and sent a servant to Yongshan Manor to fetch the Diamond Sutra and bring it into the city.

Unexpectedly, after lunch on the fourth day, several tenants from Yongshan Manor ran in, panicked, to report: “Last night during the second watch, for reasons unknown, fire broke out at the front and back of the manor. The halls, towers, haystacks, and granaries have all been burned to a white ash. The wind was howling toward the sky, and no one could save it. The fire reached the neighbors’ houses but then immediately doubled back; it didn’t burn anywhere else.”

Hearing this, Chao Yuan knew in his heart that it was because he was bringing the Diamond Sutra into the city that the fox spirit had dared to strike. He groaned in distress and could only vent his frustration on the tenants who brought the news. He went inside to tell Zhen-ge. Remembering his father’s words in the dream, he grew increasingly terrified.

Truly, “blessings never come in pairs, and misfortunes never come alone.” A month before the hunting trip, Zhen-ge had stopped her monthly cycle; she was five months pregnant. Master Tong had given them many “lines,” and while they were meant to “stitch things together,” one should still move slowly with such “needlework.” Yet, she did not spare herself the exertion, and the five-month-old fetus was disturbed. Hearing that the manor had caught fire gave her quite a fright as well. On the afternoon of the sixth day, she felt an aching pain in her waist and belly, which grew steadily worse. By dawn on the seventh day, the pain became unbearable, and she miscarried a daughter. At this time, Zhen-ge was only nineteen, and this being her first birth, the bleeding would not stop, and she fell into a faint. Had she woken up and been slowly nursed back to health, she might have been fine.

Chao Yuan looked at her and said, “She is like a silver statue cast from eight hundred taels; she is no small matter!” In a desperate rush, he sent a servant to fetch Yang Guyue for a medical consultation.

Although Yang Guyue held the title of a medical official, it was a hollow name. He had never so much as laid eyes on the Classic of Internal Medicine or the Classic of Difficult Issues, nor did he understand a lick of Wang Shuhe’s Pulse Rhymes! When it came to any ailment other than a common cold, he was like a blind man wandering into a bell tower—clashing around aimlessly.

A woman in childbirth stands with but a single step between her and the Gates of Hell; one foot out means death, one foot in means life. How could a meddling quack be allowed to experiment here? There was a specialist in gynecology named Xiao outside the South Gate, yet Chao Yuan failed to summon him, choosing instead to let Yang Guyue practice his reckless “cures.”

As for Yang Guyue, he should have weighed the gravity of the situation himself. The life or death of a woman after a miscarriage is decided in a hair’s breadth; was this really the time for him to “clash with the Grand Duke” of fate? But in his heart, he thought: “What’s the harm? A miscarriage is just a loss of qi and blood. One dose of ‘Tenfold Great Supplement Soup’ will bolster her energy, and she’ll naturally recover.” He often boasted to others: “My medical practice has a unique secret, and I can summarize it quite simply: for the sons of the wealthy, I focus on clearing heat and aiding digestion. For those with many concubines, no matter the illness, I stick to the ‘Tenfold Great Supplement.’ For the poor and lowly, I focus on relieving depression and smoothing their qi. This is the main highway of medicine; why fear wandering off the path?” Thus, to treat Zhen-ge’s miscarriage, he prescribed a dose of “Tenfold Great Supplement” combined with “Spleen-Returning Soup,” adding one mace and six candareens of ginseng.

But as it turned out, Yang Guyue’s luck had run dry. Instead of clearing the “wicked path” of the illness, the medicine blocked it. Zhen-ge was seized by a splitting headache and a burning fever; her belly swelled like a drum, and she panted like an ox. This beauty, who looked as if she were stepped out of a painting, now sought only death, finding no hope for life.

Chao Yuan fell into a frantic panic. He sought oracles at the Temple of the God of the Great Mountain, cast divinations before the Prince’s palace, hired blind fortune-tellers, and summoned witches for spirit-dancing. He brought in those who perform bamboo-clapping rituals and those who practice “circle-light” scrying. He went to the City God Temple to chant the Sutra of Protection, making grand vows: he promised to feed the monks, to worship the Big Dipper for three years, and to wear only thin cotton for five. He even considered cutting a piece of his own flesh to brew into her medicine—he was utterly distraught.

Fortunately, Yu Mingwu from across the street saw the commotion and, upon learning the cause, came over to check. When Chao Yuan explained the situation, Yu Mingwu said: “Yang Guyue knows nothing of women’s medicine. You have Xiao Beichuan in the South Pass who specializes in this, yet you didn’t call him, and now the matter has been botched. Prepare a horse immediately and have someone bring him here!” Yu Mingwu looked up at the sky and added, “At this hour, I only fear he has already departed for the Land of Drunkenness.” The servant Li成名 (Li Chengming) readied a horse and rode off like a streak of lightning.

Now, this Xiao Beichuan was truly a master; for him, treating issues before or after childbirth was as simple as turning over a hand. Out of a hundred patients he treated, at least ninety-nine would survive. He had only one unfortunate habit: whenever he went to someone’s house, before he would look at the patient, he first had to drink. Once he grabbed a wine cup, he was loath to go in and check a pulse. Once he diagnosed the illness, he would return to his wine, and having clung to the cup again, he would refuse to get up and go home to prepare the medicine.

If no one invited him out for the day, by the mid-afternoon, he would take down his shingle, close his shop, and return home to drink alone. He would not stop until he was joined with Chen Xiyi in sleep, waiting for the Duke of Zhou to visit him in his dreams. Because of this, he often failed people in their hour of need. Despite his great skill, he never managed to build any wealth.

On this day, as the afternoon was drawing to a close, he was actually home and still conscious! When Li Chengming reached the door, he found it tightly shut. Li dismounted and pelted the door with stones for a while until a bald maid came out to open it.

Li Chengming said, “Quickly, go inside and tell your master that the Chao family in the city is calling for Master Xiao to see a patient. The horse is ready here.”

The maid replied, “It’s no use! He’s slumped over drunk in bed; don’t expect him to get up today.”

“What are you saying?” Li Chengming cried. “This is a matter of saving a life, and you’re speaking with such a relaxed tone! This is enough to kill a man with worry!”

The girl said, “Who says it isn’t urgent? But he’s so drunk he’s like a lump of mud. Even if you carried him there, what use would he be? At first, he might mumble a response if you call him, but call him a few more times and it’s like calling to a dead man.”

“My dear girl! My good sister!” Li Chengming begged. “Please, just go in and take a look.”

“If you can’t wake him,” Li Chengming said, “then let me go in myself to invite him. If all else fails, I’ll hire four men to carry him there, bed and all!”

The maid replied, “Wait a moment. Let me tell the mistress and have her call him.”

The girl went inside and spoke to Xiao Beichuan’s wife. The woman went to his side and gave him a couple of shakes; he actually opened his eyes and took a look. “The Chao household is inviting you,” she said.

Xiao Beichuan muttered groggily, “Old Cao fell in a well? Find someone to fish him out then.”

His wife raised her voice: “Someone is asking you to treat a patient!”

Xiao Beichuan mumbled again, “The neighbor wants me to flip pancakes? Go flip them for him then.”

“This talk is driving me mad!” the woman cried. “Girl, go out and bring that steward in to see for himself.”

Li Chengming entered the room and spoke to Madam Xiao. “There is a patient at home waiting desperately for Master Xiao’s cure. What are we to do?” He pushed and shook the doctor, but it was like trying to mold a lump of wet mud. Finally, Li Chengming said, “Keep trying to wake him slowly. I’ll head back to report so they don’t lose heart at home.”

Madam Xiao replied by quoting two lines of Tang poetry: “The host is drunk and longs for sleep; you may go, sir. If you are so inclined, come back tomorrow morning—and bring your money.”

Chao Yuan waited for Xiao Beichuan until his eyes grew weary. When Li Chengming returned empty-handed and described the scene of the drunken doctor, he added, “I feared you’d grow restless with the waiting, so I came back to tell you. I’m going back immediately to wait for him. I’ll have someone keep the city gate open; no matter the hour, as soon as he wakes, I’ll bring him.” Li Chengming switched to a fresh horse and flew back like a streak of light.

Returning to the Xiao house, he knocked and entered, tethering his horse to the window frame. “Has Master Xiao woken yet?” he asked.

The wife replied, “Right now he is busy chatting with a certain ‘Duke of Zhou’ in his dreams. We must wait until the Duke departs before we can invite him. Steward, you’ll have to wait in the guest room. If you get tired, there’s a bed. Take the horse to the donkey shed and give it some straw.”

After settling Li Chengming in, the woman prepared four dishes of appetizers: a bowl of dried green beans, a bowl of quick-salted pork, and a large pot of hot wine. She had the bald maid who had opened the door carry them out for Li Chengming.

“I couldn’t even get Master Xiao to come, and yet I’m troubling you for a meal,” Li said. The maid set the wine and food on the table, brought out a small brazier of coals, a plate of eight pancakes, and two bowls of watery rice. Li Chengming poured and drank alone. Because of Zhen-ge’s illness, he had been too busy to eat all day; this meal was a godsend, like the washerwoman feeding the starving Han Xin. Once finished, the maid cleared the dishes. Li Chengming went to the shed to feed the horse, and when he returned, the maid brought out a felt blanket, a sheepskin rug, and a mat pillow. Li spread them on the bed, blew out the lamp, and lay down fully clothed, intending to take a quick nap before rousing Xiao Beichuan for the trip into the city.

However, after a day of frantic work followed by a full belly and wine, Li Chengming fell into a deep, snoring sleep. As it happened, the “Duke of Zhou” finished his chat with Xiao Beichuan and headed out; Li Chengming met him head-on in his dreams, and the two began an endless conversation.

By the fifth watch, Xiao Beichuan finally saw the Duke of Zhou off. He showed signs of waking, letting out two great yawns and asking for cold water. His wife recounted the details of the Chao family’s urgent summons.

“In that case,” Xiao Beichuan said, “there’s no time to wait for dawn to comb my hair. Quickly, heat up two pots of wine for me. I’ll have a ‘hair of the dog’ to settle myself, then get up and go into the city to see the patient.”

“The people with the patient are waiting for you like a prisoner longing for the moon,” his wife scolded, “and yet you want more wine! Once you start, is there any end to it? If you listen to me, don’t even bother with your hair. Just throw on your cap and get to the Chao house before daybreak. Once you’ve felt the pulse and prescribed the medicine, you can drink as many pots as you like at their house.”

“You speak the truth,” Xiao Beichuan agreed.

“If I don’t have a drop to settle myself, how am I to manage this head full of last night’s wine?” Xiao Beichuan said. He got up, washed his face, donned his cap, and put on a dark satin padded robe before going out to call for Li Chengming. As it turned out, Li Chengming was in much the same state as the doctor had been the day before; it took several shouts to rouse him. Once awake, Li spoke with the doctor, readied the horse, and had someone carry the medicine chest. They arrived at the estate and went inside to announce their presence.

Now, Zhen-ge had spent the night with her belly swollen like a drum and her chest feeling stifled; she was truly hovering between life and death. Chao Yuan was as frantic as a restless monkey, jumping in and out of the room in a daze. He hurriedly invited Xiao Beichuan inside. As the doctor walked in, he kept saying, “Good steward, hurry and warm some wine for me. If I don’t have a drop to settle my stomach, how can I endure this leftover hangover?” The servant replied, “The wine is already prepared and waiting.”

Upon entering the room, Xiao Beichuan felt her pulse and said, “Do not be afraid; there is no cause for alarm. The ‘wicked path’ has simply been blocked. Mark my words: before I finish my wine, she will already be halfway to recovery. Only then will you see my true skill.” Chao Yuan replied, “I rely entirely on your careful treatment; there will be a generous reward.”

They returned to the hall and sat down. Xiao Beichuan opened his medicine chest, dispensed a dose of herbal soup, and ordered it taken to the back to be boiled with two cups of water down to eight-tenths. He also took out a pill the size of a longan fruit, instructing that it be dissolved in warm yellow wine and washed down with the hot herbal soup. He then packed up his chest. Chao Yuan presented two taels of silver as a “chest-opening fee,” which Xiao Beichuan accepted after a polite, token refusal. He also gave a hundred copper coins to the man who carried the chest, and the wine was promptly served.

Xiao Beichuan said, “Master, you go inside and look after the patient as she takes her medicine. Let the steward wait on me; I shall drink by myself. We are old friends, after all—there is no need for me to put on airs.” Chao Yuan replied, “Let me offer you one cup, then I shall obey your command.” Chao Yuan served the first cup and drank a companion glass before letting Xiao Beichuan have his way. Xiao Beichuan then said to the steward, “Bring me a tea bowl to drink from; these tiny cups are enough to make a man die of boredom.”

Chao Yuan went inside and asked, “Is the medicine brewing yet?” The maid replied, “It is.” Chao Yuan used a silver spoon to grind and dissolve the pill, waiting for the soup to be ready to administer.

Zhen-ge, her face purple and bloated, complained, “My belly is bursting, and then you smothered my head with a quilt! It was stifling under there, and then that ‘beheading-worthy’ doctor came in reeking of wine—it nearly choked the life out of me! I haven’t even caught my breath yet!” As she spoke, the medicine was ready. Chao Yuan brought it to the bedside and helped Zhen-ge sit up, propping her against the pillows. He first fed her the dissolved pill and then washed it down with the soup. After she finished the medicine, she let out two long farts in quick succession, and the swelling in her belly seemed to loosen slightly. After a while longer, she let out two burps, feeling much more relaxed, and her breathing finally returned to normal.

Xiao Beichuan, sipping his wine, remarked, “Steward, go to the back and ask if she has taken the medicine. Once she takes it, if she lets out two or three farts and a couple of burps, that bloating will start to vanish.” The servant went in to ask and returned, saying, “It is exactly as you said. She feels much more hollow and relaxed now.”

Xiao Beichuan opened his chest again and took out another pill. “Take this in and dissolve it in warm wine; use dark sugar mixed with yellow wine to wash it down. I’ll keep drinking while I wait for the result.” Zhen-ge took it according to the prescription. After about the time it takes to eat half a meal, she felt wetness down below. She reached down and her hand came away covered in dark, purplish blood. They quickly told Xiao Beichuan.

By then, the doctor was about thirty percent drunk. He replied, “The purple blood is just starting; the bright red blood will follow shortly. Get a commode ready for her.” By this time, Zhen-ge’s abdominal pain was much better. Feeling as though she needed to relieve herself, she was helped up to sit on the commode, where she passed about four or five pints of mixed urine and blood. When they helped her back to bed, she fell into a heavy sleep for a while. The swelling in her belly had completely vanished, and she even began to think about eating some porridge.

When word of her relief was brought back to the hall, Chao Yuan felt as if his very soul had finally returned to his body. He hurried out to the front and said to Xiao Beichuan, “Elder Xiao, you are no mere doctor; you are practically a living immortal! This is truly miraculous medicine!” He then drank several large cups of wine to accompany the doctor.

After finishing his meal, Xiao Beichuan took his leave, saying, “Let her sleep through the night, and we will see how she is tomorrow. Just send someone to fetch the next dose of medicine; there is no need for me to come look at her myself.” Chao Yuan once again had Li Chengming ready the horse to escort him home.

Riding along, Xiao Beichuan joked with Chengming, “I’ve cured a woman in your household who is worth eight hundred taels of silver. You should at least cut that in half and reward me with four hundred taels!”

Li Chengming replied, “Why stop at eight hundred? Auntie Zhen might be worth eight hundred, but isn’t our Young Master worth eight thousand? If Auntie Zhen died, would our Young Master survive? When you think about it, the value is much higher! And isn’t our Old Master worth eighty thousand taels? If the Young Master died over Auntie Zhen, the Old Master wouldn’t survive either. You venerable sir haven’t just saved one person in our family; you’ve saved the entire household!”

Xiao Beichuan laughed and added, “I’ve received plenty of gifts from your house today. When you come for the medicine tomorrow, don’t bother bringing another formal gift of money. Just bring me a large bottle of your wine. That is some good wine.”

“Never mind one bottle,” Li Chengming said, “I’ll bring you ten.” Chatting along the way, Li Chengming escorted Xiao Beichuan all the way to his door. He returned, reported on the journey, and relayed Xiao Beichuan’s request for wine.

Although Zhen-ge had not yet gotten out of bed, Chao Yuan remained deeply anxious. Whether or not they would actually be able to set out on their journey by the tenth remained uncertain.

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Translator’s Note:

“Mountain-Man” (Shānrén): In the Ming Dynasty, “Mountain-Man” was a title often used by retired scholars or recluses living in nature. However, it was frequently hijacked by con artists and “professional guests” who used the title to grift wealthy families by pretending to have high-level connections.

The “Haoran” Cap as an Excuse: By wearing this specific cap and appearing disheveled, Chao Yuan is using “medical theater” to avoid the social obligations of the New Year. It allows him to receive guests without being expected to leave his home in return.

Zhang Fei and Jiao Zan: These are references to famous warriors from Chinese history and opera known for their dark skin and rough, unpolished appearances. Describing a “scholar” this way is a major red flag—it suggests he is a crude man pretending to be a refined intellectual.

The Cinnabar Diamond Sutra: Chao Yuan’s plan to fetch the sutra is his attempt to “buy” protection. He believes the physical object will act as a shield against the Fox Spirit’s revenge.

The Gift Box (Bàixiá): In Ming society, visiting a social superior required a formal gift. However, Tong’s gifts—pills and decorative cords—are “light” gifts, typical of a professional guest who relies on his “talents” (art and medicine) rather than wealth.

The “Immortal Formulas” (Xiānfāng): This is the hook. Tong is hinting that he possesses secret medical knowledge, specifically aphrodisiacs or “longevity” pills, which he knows a man like Chao Yuan—obsessed with his concubine—will find irresistible.

“A Pigeon Flies to the Wealthiest Roost”: This is a self-deprecating joke used to mask the fact that he is exactly that—a social climber who follows the money.

The “Haoran” Cap vs. The Square Cap: Chao Yuan is wearing the informal cap of a sick man, while Tong is wearing the Fangjin (square cap) of a scholar. The visual contrast emphasizes Tong’s attempt to look “official” and “educated” despite his greasy clothes.

“Pulling Strings” (Yǐnxiàn chěqiān): This is a polite way of saying Tong acts as a procurer or fixer for the sexual and financial whims of powerful men. It signals to Chao Yuan that Tong is a “useful” man to know for someone of his tastes.

The “Medicinal Threads” (Yàoxiàn): These are a recurring element in Ming/Qing erotic literature. They were chemically treated threads used in the bedroom to enhance pleasure or stamina. By focusing on these, the author highlights the moral vacuum of both the “doctor” and the “patient.”

“Meeting the Sun”: Tong’s flattery is intentionally over-the-top. In the Confucian world, the Sun represents the Emperor or a great father figure. Calling a spoiled, sickly young man “the Sun” is the ultimate sign of a professional grifter at work.

The “Magnet and the Needle” Theme: Just as we saw with Dr. Yang, Tong Dingyu is being pulled toward the Chao household not by friendship, but by the “scent” of wealth and Chao Yuan’s known weaknesses.