Struggling with mixed signals in dating? Learn how choosing self-worth, setting boundaries, and exploring BGC with good food can transform your love life.
Rejection is merely a redirection; a course correction to your destiny.
—Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life
Opening Up Again: Why Love Feels Risky
Opening ourselves up to others—especially after experiencing hurt—can feel like standing exposed in a thunderstorm. Vulnerability is scary. But life, in its own way, often forces us to reassess what truly matters in our relationships.
When you’ve been hurt before, it’s easy to shut down. I’ve done it too. But eventually, the heart finds its way back. And that’s where we start to grow.
When Drama Isn’t Yours to Solve
There was a time I found myself caught in a messy triangle—not between two lovers, but between a parent and their son. The parent insisted he wasn’t ready, while the son’s actions suggested something different. The whole situation was a confusing tug-of-war.
Looking back, I stayed too long trying to “fix” it—trying to make sense of it all. I convinced myself that if I just held on a little longer, things would become clearer.
But I learned the hard way: you can’t create stability in someone else’s chaos. That’s not your job.
What I Wish I Knew:
When people leave you guessing, sometimes that is their answer. You deserve peace, not constant decoding.
Like the Polish proverb says, “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” It means: their drama isn’t your responsibility. Let go of situations where you’re always trying to clean up emotional messes you didn’t make.
Spotting Mixed Signals: A Red Flag in Disguise
There’s a quote I always go back to:
“If someone treats you like you’re just one of many options, help them narrow their choices by removing yourself.”
That quote hit differently the moment I realized I was letting someone choose me only when it was convenient.
You’re not here to be someone’s backup plan or emotional crutch. You’re here to be seen, chosen, and valued without hesitation.
For a long time, I confused patience with self-sacrifice. I thought “holding space” for someone meant waiting for them to finally choose me. But love doesn’t need to be earned like that. When it’s right, it flows. It doesn’t feel like a tug-of-war.
Here’s the truth: people who care won’t confuse you. Mixed signals aren’t a personality quirk. They’re emotional immaturity in disguise.
Pro tip: If communication remains unclear after honest efforts, they likely want to keep you confused for their benefit.
The Power of Setting Boundaries in Dating
What Healthy Boundaries Look Like
Boundaries aren’t walls—they’re gates. They let the right people in and keep the harmful ones out. I no longer entertain half-efforts, vague replies, or “I’m not ready” lines that go on for months.
“Know your worth. When someone treats you like you’re just one of many options, help them narrow their choice.”
Until someone genuinely apologizes and takes accountability—not just a lazy “sorry ah, pasensya ka na”—I’m not interested. A sincere apology shows growth. Anything less is a tactic to reset the game.
Understanding the Art of Detachment
How Detachment Protects Your Heart
Detachment is often misunderstood. It’s not about becoming cold—it’s about protecting your peace. When a relationship starts to feel like a one-person tug of war, it’s time to let go of the rope.
I learned to practice healthy detachment by asking:
- Do they make me feel safe and seen?
- Do they take ownership of their behavior?
- Are they consistent or only available when convenient?
If the answers aren’t “yes,” you know what to do.
Avoid toxic forgiveness. Forgiving someone before they truly apologize only buries resentment.
Rejection Is Redirection: Embrace the Shift
Sometimes, people don’t show up for us the way we hoped—and that hurts. But I’ve learned that rejection often leads us to better things.
Think of it like missing a bus only to catch a train that takes you somewhere even more beautiful.
You deserve someone who is thrilled to have you in their life—not someone who treats you like a backup plan.
Recognize Your Worth: Love Shouldn’t Be Confusing
If you find yourself constantly wondering where you stand, it’s time to reassess the relationship.
Life is too short for one-sided effort.
Love should feel like safety, not suspense. If you’re giving your all and still feel invisible, don’t wait around hoping they’ll change.
Wish them well and walk away.
Turning Pain into Purpose: Healing Through Food, Travel, and Love
From Virtual Chats to Reality: A Day in BGC with Mike
And now, let me tell you about Day Two of this new chapter with Mike—a reminder that clarity can come with companionship, laughter, and shared meals.
It was Mike’s first visit to Manila, and my first time back in two years. We decided to explore McKinley Hill and BGC on foot, letting our stomachs lead the way.
Korean Cravings: Romantic Baboy in McKinley Hill
Restaurant Review and Recommendation
We kicked off the day at Romantic Baboy McKinley Hill—a short walk from our place. If you’re a K-drama fan like me, you’ll love their setup.
Menu Highlights:
- Samgyeopsal (pork belly)
- Woosamgyeop (beef belly)
- Yangnyeom Galbi (marinated beef ribs)
- Cheese dip, steamed egg, japchae, and kimchi
Their unlimited Korean BBQ is both affordable and satisfying. Mike enjoyed it too—especially since I’ve converted him into a casual K-pop fan. Yes, we binge-watched Empress Ki on date nights!
Business Hours:
Monday to Sunday: 11:00 AM – 11:00 PM
→ Check their Facebook page for updates.
Exploring McKinley Hill: Steps, Laughter, and Late-Night Talks
After our filling lunch, we strolled around McKinley Hill’s picturesque spots. The mix of cobbled pathways and modern buildings made for great photos and deeper conversations.
It was one of those slow days you wish you could bottle and keep forever.
Chinese Spice: Old ChengDu in BGC Forum
Our last stop was Old ChengDu Restaurant, a treasure for lovers of Sichuan cuisine. We were tired, hungry, and craving spice—and this place delivered.
What We Ordered:
- Dan Dan Mian (spicy noodles)
- Pork skewers
- Mapo tofu (next time!)
Mike’s spicy cravings were met. Meanwhile, I remained loyal to Korean and Japanese broths. But variety is part of the joy—we meet halfway through food.
Business Hours:
Monday to Sunday: 11:00 AM – 10:00 PM
→ Visit their Facebook page or check Restaurant Guru for more info.
The Perfect Nightcap: Starbucks, Stories, and Sentiment
We ended the day at Starbucks, sipping lattes as the city buzzed outside. The calm ambiance gave us time to recharge our phones and ourselves.
Over our drinks, we reminisced about early virtual calls and laughed about our first awkward messages.
That night, it felt like home—not just the place, but the person.
That home felt like us. It sounded like our shared playlists. It tasted like a mix of Korean BBQ and Chinese spice and lukewarm leftovers shared at midnight. It smelled like his cologne mixed with the street-swept McKinley Hill breeze and early-roasted coffee at BGC.
Takeaway: Date with Intention, Heal with Presence
It’s easy to get swept up in emotions and forget what we deserve. But real connection isn’t chaotic. It’s calm. It’s someone showing up with consistency and care.
So if you’re navigating love, here’s what I learned:
- Choose self-worth every time.
- Mixed signals aren’t love—they’re a warning.
- Good food, shared memories, and long walks can be healing.
- Wait for someone who’s all in—not half-there.
Here’s one of my favorite songs that I dedicate to him.
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